First of all, Zombriety isn’t a disease. That’s something else entirely. We’ve addressed this extensively before, and would like to post links to prior posts that explain this point.

Lies! Damn Lies!
Zombriety
Deathstyle Crisis

We will continue our efforts, but the recent post at the CDC saddens us immensely.

One of our fine public servants is blogging his experiences working in the Department of Undead Management. While we here object to the words “Management” and “Undead” have lobbied to have it changed to a more Post-Vital sensitive name, we do recognize that the DUM was formed in a different time, when Zombies had less of a voice.

We highly recommend reading his blog, as well as his Twitter Feed.

It really is a shame when prejudice and hatred influence someone into an unreasonable act. Eventually he’ll starve, become a zombie himself, and then he’ll be stuck there, all alone. Sad, poor fool.

via Topless Robot

If you’ve never been to Shirt.Woot you need to go now. They offer shirts for $10 for one day only (no shipping!), and today’s is… well… I’ll let it speak for itself:

If I only....

Of course it goes without saying that we assume that these fine Zombies are only here to save Dorothy from the twister.

Now the shirt is only availabe for $10 today, April 22, 2010 but it may go into The Reckoning and be available for $15 for some time (still no shipping!). Like this must-have zombie tee shirt (alas stupid meat-life that keeps us from posting all the time)

Also, check out the song that goes with this shirt after the break:

I was comfy in my straw tomb
But then Hell ran out of room
And the earth I now must walk

dee deet dee diddle dee deet

And so I keep pursuin’
All the teenagers a’wooin’
And my hunger can’t be stopped

de deet diddle dee deet

I already ate a lion
He never stopped his cryin’
As we shambled down the block

dee deet dee diddle dee deet

And that heart I thought was iron
Just turned out to be tin wire
And my hunger can’t be stopped

So why
Did I arise
You’d think this can’t be real
Man I could really go for Kansas veal
But right away
I’d want more still

The good witch was like custard
The bad one smelt of mustard
From the Wizard I made stock

dee deet dee diddle dee deet

Then I ate up Emerald City
All those little guys were minty
Yet my hunger can’t be stopped

Ingredients :

1-1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 cup vegan granulated sugar
1/4 cup shredded coconut
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup water
1/3 cup oil
1 tablespoon vanilla
1 tablespoon white vinegar
1/2 cup cherry pie filling or “red” jam
1 recipe Vanilla Glaze (listed under frosting)
powdered sugar

Directions:

This is a variation on the “white cake” recipe under “weddings”. Here. When you eat these friendly zombies you will find a surprise inside–their fruity brains!  Finally, a sweet revenge (zombies eat brains, if you didn’t know that).

1. In a bowl, combine flour, sugar, coconut, baking soda, and salt.

2. In another bowl, combine water, oil, vanilla, and vinegar. Combine wet and dry.

3. Prepare 12 cupcake liners in a pan. Fill each just under half full with the batter.  Spoon into the middle about 2 teaspoons (a small spoonful or so) of the pie filling/jam. Cover with more cake batter until the liner is full, but not overflowing.

4. Bake at 350 degrees F for about 25 minutes; start checking after 15 to 20 minutes (my oven is a bit special and my cook times are always a little off). Once the tops are just brown and a toothpick comes out clean, remove from oven and let cool all the way.

5. Once cooled, make the “Vanilla Glaze” or use your own frosting recipe. Dust with powdered sugar if you want to give them a nice “dusty” face. Then decorate with chocolate chips, dried fruits, nuts, more coconut, or anything else that looks tasty.

Then you have a friendly zombie cupcake that you can eat the brains of!

While we do not condone revenge on the post-vital here at ZADL we do condone delicious flavor.

We’ve featured this song before on ZADL, but this version appears to have been filmed at our offices. Those guys, and their wacky hijinx! Of course we don’t want to eat your brains… much.

Mulder: You know Scully, I was just thinking about Lazarus, Ed Wood, and those Tofurkey-eatin’ zombies. How come when people come back from the dead, they always wanna hurt the living?

Scully: Well, that’s because people can’t really come back from the dead, Mulder. I mean, ghosts and zombies are just projections of our own repressed cannibalistic and sexual fears and desires. They are who we fear that we are at heart. Just mindless automatons who can only kill and eat.

Mulder: Party pooper. Well, I got a new theory. I say that when zombies try to eat people, that’s just the first stage. You see, they’ve just come back from being dead, so they’re gonna do all the things they missed from when they were alive. So first, they’re gonna eat. Then, they’re gonna drink. Then, they’re gonna dance and make love.

Truly a enlightened attitude to take toward the post vital. Kudos to the writers for this piece of dialogue.